It has been a long while since I have last written. It is always a bit strange to look back and read what you have written in the past. A very quick update: I have officially graduated from UCL with a MSc in Developmental Psychology and Clinical Practice, moved back home, started a new chapter in Singapore.
As I would like to think that all is good and all is well. (Well, life is pretty good.) Transitioning to a new environment, people and a new phase in life isn’t easy. For some people, they drown themselves in work, drinks or in their own company. Having moved over multiple times over the past six years over four countries, five cities, I may actually feel like settling down soon. The constant moving and meeting new people is exciting yet tiring for the soul. The first few weeks is usually more challenging. Transitioning involves a lot of changes. Change involves a loss or multiple losses and gains. This is a period of mourning for the losses while having to learn and adjust to the new environment. Yes, I am struggling a bit. I have just left London, stayed in Malaysia for a little over a month and moved to Singapore in just last two weeks. I have tried to focus on my gains leaving London rather than my losses. It helped me to readjust back home and reconnect with family and old friends. Being in Singapore, it is extremely exciting and wonderful yet my heart is unsettled and lonely. My biggest losses coming to Singapore are close relationships and friendships. I have always been a firm believer in being connected and invested in closeness with people.
However this time, I don’t want to focus on that. I want to focus on myself. I have devised a self rediscovery plan to work on myself, on my relationship with myself. It is not about hiding in my room, in fact it is about discovering different side of me in this new environment. I am done with self-doubting talk or mourning about the losses. I want to take a positive spin on this situation and an active role to make it better.
There are rules that I have to follow during this 30 days self-rediscovery plan. I need to retrain my mind, to refocus my life to something different.
- Quiet the inner critic, focus on the positives
- Speak kind words
- Keep promises and tell the truth
- No body or self hating talk
- Reduce man talk, increase life talk
- Have more friend dates
- Be thankful and say a prayer everynight
- Avoid getting drunk
- Draw, paint, collage
- Do something new weekly
- Pick up and old or new hobby
- Do something nice for someone daily
- Cook up something new weekly
- Break a bad habit
- Start a creative project
- Have a healthy lifestyle (feed myself good nutritious food, exercise, meditate, pray)
- Free myself from negative people
- Let go of those who are already gone
- Keep evaluating and re-evaluating life goals
- Pay attention to my relationship with myself – take myself out, treat myself, buy myself flowers