Recently, I have been very much attached to the book by Stephen Grosz – The Examined Life. The title is a bit cheesy to be honest but the content is moving and raw. I am at this chapter on resistance to change and negativity. One of the quotes that really stuck to me was ‘our weapon against negativity is not persuasion, it’s understanding’. Everyone has a positive voice that encourages/motivates/pushes us to do something and the other voice that stops us from doing anything. For some people, one voice is louder than the other. Thinking systemically, when someone else takes on the role as the one who encourages /motivates, it often leaves the individual to start adopting the role of the other voice. Many times, when faced with negativity, we try really hard to persuade our friends to tackle negativity. However, many times it does not work that way. We tend to get more resistance from them. The key (as suggested in this book) is actually to ask questions, to lead the person to understand why not? This isn’t natural and often times, we forget about understanding. I do that.